I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
