how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
