I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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