just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm getting married
To pizza
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
