Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
