I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
