You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
