i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize