Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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