Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
