My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
