Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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