dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
