glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
