i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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