I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
