DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
