dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
