I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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