oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
