i don't like sucking hair
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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