And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
