if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
