On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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