Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
