is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
