not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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