how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
