so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
