How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
