I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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