The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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