How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
