If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
