Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
