If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
