its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How does it feel to date your dad?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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