What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
