So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
