NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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