Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
