i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
