I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
