4 words: hood of his car
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
