she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
