nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
