I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
