I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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