I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
