is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize