she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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