Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
