oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize