the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
please don't ironically join a cult
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