I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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