the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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