So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
