I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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